Having the “race talk” with people who’ve never experienced it is like telling someone whose mother has died that you understand. “Did your mother die, Susan? No? Then you don’t understand!”
I made a promise to myself this year – I don’t want to talk about race with people outside of my own race. Let me backtrack a bit to shed more light on how I arrived at this decision.
2015 marked the first time in my life that I hadn’t lived in a country where Black African descendants weren’t the majority. Race issues do exist in Jamaica, more than many Jamaicans would care to admit. But it’s also a very multi-ethnic place where Indians, Chinese and European descendants have lived peacefully with Black African descendants for decades. There, I could afford to live in ignorance about race issues in other countries.
That attitude changed when I moved to Japan and found myself among a tiny minority of Blacks. In the beginning, I tried to be as patient and understanding as I could.
Perhaps my new neighbours stared creepily when I put out garbage because they just weren’t used to seeing black people. Perhaps the teacher who wanted to know how often I washed my hair was just genuinely curious. Perhaps when students – with whom I’d played just hours before – looked right through me at the supermarket, they just didn’t see my black ass right in front of them in the aisle. Perhaps. It didn’t take long for me to notice that I was being treated differently compared to my white colleagues.
Over time, I’ve learnt to live with the subtle racism that is inevitably part of many black people’s lives not just in Japan, but Asia in general. But what has added salt to the wounds is that those who enjoy an enormous amount of privilege because of their skin colour, oftentimes use this privilege to dismiss the outright racist attitudes towards black people and seek to explain away certain behaviours simply because they haven’t had these experiences.
Even more so, some persons who might have had to suppress racial prejudices in their politically correct countries, have found solace in this country where they can freely let their racist flag fly.
But, since race has become a topical issue on the world stage, it would seem like the perfect opportunity to reach out to those who do not share these bigoted views and are genuinely interested in building bridges between races. Herein lies my predicament. I have to admit that it’s sometimes difficult for me to distinguish between intentional racism and just plain ignorance. Plus, I’m painfully aware that there is such as a thing as “closet racists” and that at any time I could find myself in a room full of racists and not know it.
Also, having the “race talk” with people who’ve never experienced it is like telling someone whose mother has died that you understand. “Did your mother die, Susan? No? Then you don’t understand!”
Nevertheless, I believe that there are some people who have a genuine desire to learn about race issues, and those who want to actively engage with people who don’t look like them will find ways to do so. They’ll check their privilege and call out racism when they see it. They aren’t dismissive of black people’s experiences nor do they need a token black friend to prove that they aren’t racist. And they certainly don’t need to have the race talk with me or any other black person to recognize that we are all human and should be treated as such.
Perhaps I needed to become more aware of my own blackness, so that I could gain a better understanding of what some black peoples are forced to deal with every day, sometimes even in their own countries. But at least I can go home – home to a black majority country where I don’t have to deal with these issues. And as comforting as that thought is, it also makes me feel immense sadness for the black people in this country who think that a little racism here isn’t so bad because “at least they’re not getting shot”.